1. Tell her she’s fat. Remind her how much you hate her hips and how her face is ugly because of her pimples. Tell her to stop eating so much and tell her how fat she looks every time she tries on her new clothes. Girls dig guys that are honest.

2. Keep her in suspense. Girls love suspicious guys. It makes them look heaps sexier. Tell her that you want to call her after midnight to surprise her and make her wait. Then don’t call at all. Or better yet, dress up in a suit, tell her that you’re going to take her somewhere romantic, drive her around for an hour and then go eat at Maccas. Girls love surprises.

3. Be clingy. If you be clingy, girls will always love you forever because you’re showing her how much she means to you. Every twenty minutes, call her and wake her up and say anything. It doesn’t have to be ‘I love you’. Tell her what you’re doing every 5 minutes. Treat her like she’s your Twitter. Be a leech and suck all the love out of her.

4. Teach her that materialism isn’t important. Every time she buys you something to celebrate your ‘Happy new month’ or for special days like ‘Valentine’s Day’ or your birthday, THROW HER SHIT AWAY. Deliberately throw it in the bin in front of her. Don’t give her presents. If she’s pissed at you, just tell her that you don’t need it. You don’t need to buy and accept items to appreciate your love for one another.

5. Be physical. And I by that, be really really physical. Every time she holds your hand, hold them back really really really tightly. So tightly that she cringes and screams. When you’re playing with her hair, make sure you yank it off really hard. She’ll love you because then she’ll know that you’ll be physical in bed.

6. Every time you’re at her house, throw all her accessories away. That means brand items, earrings, cosmetics etc. Those stuff are only for old Asian ladies.

7. Every time you go with her to a party, ignore her at the event. Then meet other girls, get their number and make sure that she’s watching you do it. Then when she confronts you and your new chick, refer to her as ‘some other chick’ or ‘slut’. Girls love having nicknames.

8. Be a man. Be the one in authority in the relationship. Girls love being under control of a masculine guy, so to do that you need to boss her around. Tell her to give you blowjobs while playing COD, tell her to make you a sandwich. Remember guys, one of the marriage vows for them includes obeying her husband, and tell her that this is a good practice for the future.

9. When you meet her parents, tell them all the embarassing stuff that she has told you. Make some shit up. Her parents will love you for having a good sense of humour, and when you get their respect, you can do anything you want with your girl.

10. Do not let her go out of the house. Chain her to your bed or something. Keep her in place. A woman should NEVER leave the house. If she gets annoyed at you, tell her that you don’t want anyone to see her because you want her all to yourself, and that you’re embarassed of people knowing that she’s your girlfriend because she’s fugly. Tell her you don’t want to let her go. She will love you for eternity.

If you do this, I guarantee you that you will get a girlfriend and that she will be by your side no matter what.

PROBLEM?

Taken from http://labelyourlover.tumblr.com/post/1599444436

1. Tell her she’s fat. Remind her how much you hate her hips and how her face is ugly because of her pimples. Tell her to stop eating so much and tell her how fat she looks every time she tries on her new clothes. Girls dig guys that are honest.

2. Keep her in suspense. Girls love suspicious guys. It makes them look heaps sexier. Tell her that you want to call her after midnight to surprise her and make her wait. Then don’t call at all. Or better yet, dress up in a suit, tell her that you’re going to take her somewhere romantic, drive her around for an hour and then go eat at Maccas. Girls love surprises.

3. Be clingy. If you be clingy, girls will always love you forever because you’re showing her how much she means to you. Every twenty minutes, call her and wake her up and say anything. It doesn’t have to be ‘I love you’. Tell her what you’re doing every 5 minutes. Treat her like she’s your Twitter. Be a leech and suck all the love out of her.

4. Teach her that materialism isn’t important. Every time she buys you something to celebrate your ‘Happy new month’ or for special days like ‘Valentine’s Day’ or your birthday, THROW HER SHIT AWAY. Deliberately throw it in the bin in front of her. Don’t give her presents. If she’s pissed at you, just tell her that you don’t need it. You don’t need to buy and accept items to appreciate your love for one another.

5. Be physical. And I by that, be really really physical. Every time she holds your hand, hold them back really really really tightly. So tightly that she cringes and screams. When you’re playing with her hair, make sure you yank it off really hard. She’ll love you because then she’ll know that you’ll be physical in bed.

6. Every time you’re at her house, throw all her accessories away. That means brand items, earrings, cosmetics etc. Those stuff are only for old Asian ladies.

7. Every time you go with her to a party, ignore her at the event. Then meet other girls, get their number and make sure that she’s watching you do it. Then when she confronts you and your new chick, refer to her as ‘some other chick’ or ‘slut’. Girls love having nicknames.

8. Be a man. Be the one in authority in the relationship. Girls love being under control of a masculine guy, so to do that you need to boss her around. Tell her to give you blowjobs while playing COD, tell her to make you a sandwich. Remember guys, one of the marriage vows for them includes obeying her husband, and tell her that this is a good practice for the future.

9. When you meet her parents, tell them all the embarassing stuff that she has told you. Make some shit up. Her parents will love you for having a good sense of humour, and when you get their respect, you can do anything you want with your girl.

10. Do not let her go out of the house. Chain her to your bed or something. Keep her in place. A woman should NEVER leave the house. If she gets annoyed at you, tell her that you don’t want anyone to see her because you want her all to yourself, and that you’re embarassed of people knowing that she’s your girlfriend because she’s fugly. Tell her you don’t want to let her go. She will love you for eternity.

If you do this, I guarantee you that you will get a girlfriend and that she will be by your side no matter what.

PROBLEM?

Taken from http://labelyourlover.tumblr.com/post/1599444436